Ways to Improve Relationship Intimacy Part
A great marriage or relationship is a FANTASTIC thing, we'd all agree. We'd also agree that a lousy marriage is awful! Since half of all marriages end in divorce, it's obvious that great relationships are hard work! So how can we "stack the deck" in favor of an AWESOME marriage? Part 1 of this series lists 26 ways to improve intimacy in your relationship. This article has 26 more! Look for the series in the Feature Articles Section of K-9 Outfitters, a Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.1. Find the local "Lover's Lane" in your community and drop in some evening on your way home from a romantic dinner.
(Be sure to use a breath mint after dinner). If you don't know where "Lover's Lane" is, ask any local teenager. Or you can ask a local policeman by posing as a concerned parent looking for their "wayward" teen. Trust me, some good old "passionate necking" will do your relationship intimacy a world of good.
2. Write "I Love You ____" with chalk on the sidewalk outside their office building. Then call and challenge them to find the secret message you've left for them somewhere between work and home. Have a special prize (even a candy bar, perfume, cologne, a sexy "teddy" nightie, a new CD of his favorite group, etc.) to give them if they find the message. Your relationship intimacy will benefit.
3. Read a relationship book and discuss it together. One of my favorites is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
He even has workbooks to use during your study together. (Hint: Once you discover your mate's Love Language, learn to speak their language fluently!) Some other books I highly recommend include "Five Foundations for Marriage" by Robert & Judson Cornwall; "Hidden Keys of a Loving Lasting Marriage" by Gary Smalley; "Equality and Submission in Marriage" by John C. Howell; "The Marriage Checkup" by H. Norman Wright; "Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem" by Dennis & Barbara Rainey; "Strike the Original Match" by Charles Swindoll; "Keeping Your Marriage From Burning Out" by William L. Coleman; "Love Life For Every Married Couple" by Ed Wheat; "For Better, For Worse, For Keeps" by Bob Moeller; "Growing A Healthy Marriage," Mike Yorkey, Editor; "His Needs, Her Needs" by William F.
Harley, Jr.; and "The Many Loves of Marriage" by Thomas & Nanette Kinkade. You can find these and many other books on marriage and relationships in your local bookstore. This exercise will bring surprisingly greater relationship intimacy to your marriage.4.
Develop a special code for you and your spouse to use with beepers, blackberries, or cell phones, when you are thinking romantically about one another. Think relationship intimacy.5. Try this exercise.
Each of you take pen and paper and answer this question; "What do you want more of from this relationship?" Each of you list 5 things you want more of and swap lists. Write regular reminders to encourage one another, and be sure to write notes of thanks when your partner fulfills your wishes and increases your relationship intimacy.6. Establish a weekly "Movie Night.
" Watch a movie about love and relationships, and discuss what you learned when it's over. Focus on how those lessons can improve your relationship intimacy.7. Write a poem, sonnet, or song about your mate.
It doesn't have to rhyme and it doesn't have to be great! It's enough that you wrote it about the one you love (be sure to use their name in the title or body of the composition). I assure you they will be duly impressed and intimacy will flourish. .8. Make a list of the 50 (or 100) "Places I would like to be alone with you." Or it could be the places I'd like to ? go with you, kiss you, make love with you, or whatever you choose.
To help your relationship intimacy grow even more, devise a plan of how and when you will visit these places and fulfill those fantasies!.9. Discover new and unusual places and ways to communicate "I Love You!" to your spouse. I've seen banners behind airplanes, billboard signs, paintings on water towers and underpasses, and so on.
Is money an issue? OK, try these. I once made a tri-fold anniversary card for my wife by covering the cardboard from a washing machine with white table runner paper, writing a message in crayon and magic marker, and filling the inside with a year by year montage of pictures of our life together. Another time I used table runner to create a 10 foot long banner with a birthday message of love. Use your imagination and keep in mind that relationship intimacy is the goal.10. Send a pair of oven mitts to your spouse at work, with this message attached.
"I am going to be too hot to handle tonight, so wear these!" then greet them at the door wearing nothing but a smile! (First, be sure to send the kids to Grandma's for the evening!). Be careful, though, because this will not only set your relationship intimacy on fire, this behavior has been know to cause "babies.".
11. Think of some of your lover's favorite things. Create an acronym of their name with each letter of their name standing for something they like to eat, do, smell, wear, hear, see, etc. Then give them each of the things represented by the acronym. Your relationship will truly become more intimate.12.
Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway to a local hotel. Rent a room with a Jacuzzi or spa. Order room service, and don't leave the room all weekend. (You can figure out the rest ? Hey! This is a "G" rated article).
Think relationship intimacy!.13. Make a practice of asking your spouse "How's your 'Love Tank' today?" (Each of us has a love tank. It might be full, ¾ full, ½ full, ¼ full, or empty). Naturally, the follow-up question is "What can I do to make your love tank full again?" Remember, your concern is for your spouse's intimacy needs.
So wear thick skin, and gladly do whatever they need for their love tank to be full again. That's what marriage is all about!.14. Learn some new ways to say "I Love You!" Try sign language, foreign languages, Morse code, Western Union, or Federal Express. Express your love and help your relationship intimacy grow in ways that are unique to only you two.
15. Find ways to occasionally help with your spouse's job. Show more than a "How was your work today, honey?" interest. Learn what really fascinates them about their work. If possible, go see where they work, and have them explain their job and daily routine to you. Show your pride in their personal accomplishments.
Express gratitude for all they do for your family. Your relationship intimacy will become more genuine to your spouse.16. Kidnap your spouse from their daily work routine.
This doesn't have to be a big, involved, expensive, undercover operation. You can simply pick them up with a picnic basket in hand for a sunny, atypical lunch.17. For their next birthday or anniversary, do this. Give them an envelope to take to work with instructions not to open it until the day is over (the suspense will drive them nuts!). In that envelope, give them instructions of where to go after work, say to a local flower shop.
When they get there, the florist gives them a single rose with written instructions of the next place to go, like the card, balloon, or candy store. Each place has a small gift and the next set of instructions. The last set can take them to your favorite restaurant or Hotel, where you are waiting to complete a romantic evening of relationship intimacy.
WOW!.18. Volunteer to do all of your spouse's "household chores" in addition to your own for one week. Tell them they are free to do whatever they wish; read books, plant flowers, go for long walks, take luxurious baths, get extra sleep, or whatever. I guarantee you this will make you a lot of money in the relationship intimacy department.19.
Hold hands while you pray, watch TV, take a walk, or sit in church or at a movie. Even this simple act will improve your relationship intimacy.20. Make it a daily practice to say something about your spouse to someone else, and also something to your spouse about themselves, which is good, positive, or uplifting. In other words, compliment your spouse daily. They will soon believe your relationship intimacy is for real once again.
21. Take the kids out for a Saturday, and leave your spouse home to sleep late. Leave their breakfast ready, coffee pot on, paper at bedside, and so forth.
Tell them just to be lazy that day, and relax. They will have more energy for intimacy as a result.22. When you hear a love song on the radio, send your spouse a text message or call the answering machine, and say "I love you, darling, listen to this?" and repeat your favorite words of the song to them, ending with, "That's how I feel when I think of you!" Their intimacy hormones will begin to bubble!.
23. Make it a practice to share an intimate kiss and hug before leaving every morning, as soon as you get home in the evening, and before going to bed. I'm not talking about the obligatory "peck" like two birds "beaking" one another. Remember, the operative word here is INTIMACY!.24.
Plan at least one date every week. Go to dinner or a movie. Go on a picnic or biking. Go to a sporting event or something with the Arts or music.
Play cards or table games with other couples. Fly a kite or go swimming, fishing or sailing together. The goal is to build relationship intimacy.
25. Learn a new hobby together. It could be cross stitch (don't laugh guys, I've done it; they make great hand made cheap Christmas gifts). It could be pottery, woodcarving, skydiving, fishing, ceramics, rock climbing, or you name it.
Intimacy grows as we spend more time together, enjoying one another.26. Once a quarter you should plan a weekend escape. Take turns planning them, and tell your partner in advance so the anticipation builds.
Or plan them together and watch one another's excitement grow as the time nears. Relationship intimacy will improve during the planning process as well as during the activity itself. You can't lose!.Here is a tool for using these ideas. Go through the entire list together and rate each of the ideas. Ladies, place your numbers on the left side of each item.
Gentlemen, place your ratings on the right side of each idea. Use the following rating scale:.1 = My Personal Favorites!.2 = I Would Love For You To Do This For Me!.
3 = I Would Love To Do This For You!.4 = Let's Discuss This Idea Further!.5 = There Ain't No Way, Baby!.Have fun with this list of 26 intimacy hints. The bottom line of this article is really a two-fold focus. First, I want you to learn to think of the wants, needs and desires of your spouse before you think of your own.
Second, I want you to learn to have fun together again! Let your imagination run wild! Try actually doing the things listed in this article. If you will just do one each week, you will increase the intimacy in your relationship (at least once a week) for six months. Part three of this series will have 26 more hints for increased intimacy in your relationship. Look for it in the Feature Articles Section of K-9 Outfitters, a Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.
Danny Presswood, 2006 All Rights Reserved..Danny Presswood is a retired US Army Combat (Airborne) Chaplain. He and his wife Cheri now live in the wooded Ozarks hills of SW MO. Presently working on his Doctorate, Danny writes the Feature Articles and Newsletter for K-9 Outfitters, A Division of Damascus Road Enterprises, which offers a plethora of AWESOME discount, luxury, unique, and Handmade in the USA Online Dog Supplies. K-9 Outfitters, A Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.
By: Danny Presswood
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